Arrgh! J. Rex's Fake "Scholarship" Totals

Graduation rates? No, we can't brag about them.

Highest school ratings for most money spent? No, that won't do.

Fewest unsatisfactory-rated schools? Nix that.

Best school buildings? Wrong again.

Hey, boss. I've got a good one. Let's use the fake scholarship totals that school districts put over on gullible and adoring parents at graduation ceremonies. You know, the ones where few bear any resemblance to any actual scholarship but are based mainly on financial need? No one seems to know the difference. If we can get our poorest students to apply to many more schools, why maybe we could lead the nation in something after all!

What a splendid idea! Roll out the PR campaign.

[See the P & C's hook-line-and-sinker article at State Students Earn Record $767M in Scholarships.]